She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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