Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
