Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
