marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize