k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
