I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that's an acceptable place to lick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
