She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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