Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
