Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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