I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
