new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You need Xanax blowdarts
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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