Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
