I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
