I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
