sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
