I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
