Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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