Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
