the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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