I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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