I think i sorta joined a cult last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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