What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
