i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
