I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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