My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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