My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
