just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize