Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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