it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
