My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
