Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
