oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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