I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
