Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
