dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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