in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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