We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
