i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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