Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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