My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
