its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
