Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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