Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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