Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
