To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize