I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
