He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
