I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
