I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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