so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize