drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
