Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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