We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
