remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
