This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
