you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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