Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
