i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
